Twenty- Seven

What a year it was!

It started off being the worst year of my life to being one of the best. The blessings that have poured over still continue to overwhelm me, like they say - when it rains it pours. I went from being jobless, man-less and overweight to being employed, almost engaged and getting in shape (er..somewhat, slowly working on it for sure) But the saying that god's timing is perfect could not be any more apt when it comes to my life.

From the sheer uncertainty and hopelessness that seemed to cloud my future, the clarity and vision that I now have seems like that ray of sunshine which lit up my otherwise dreary/stormy life.

It's crazy how much life as changed! I am now financially independent, travelling and cruising through life with the love of my life, and cultivating new and better habits. I am experiencing love in all its magic!  This pessimist is officially turning into an optimist. 

So now that I'm turning 28 tomorrow, I had to officially document this awesome year that was 27. I have no words for the happiness (the age of) 27 has brought me. Those little choices to take those chances have indeed changed my life for the better. I'll never forget this year for as long as I shall live, this past year was a testimony to bearing the fruits of patience and perseverance. I cannot thank the almighty enough for blessing me so abundantly, I hope from the bottom of my heart I get the opportunity to give this love and blessing back in some form before I die. So here's to another year of wonderfulness, and being 27 at heart and in spirit forever. :)

Be still my heart...

Oh my love, come to me! Oh my love, come to me!
Oh my life, come to me! Oh my soul, come to me!
Oh my love, come to me! Oh my love, come to me!
Come, let us blossom into flowers together
I asked myself if I am the real me?
And my heart replied that I am you.....

You crafted the color patterns
Long live, those hands that crafted the patters
The bangles chime,"jal! jal!"
You crafted the color patterns
The colors are spilled smiles of the beautiful girl,
Who smells like a Jasmine flower emitting the fragrance of sandalwood.....

You adorned a flower! You adorned a flower! You adorned a flower on a beautiful girl!
By placing your heart! By placing your heart! You placed a burning desire in her heart!

Oh honey! When you dance in the rain, and when I melt away (looking at you) while getting drenched,
You flow in my veins, and you are my very heart beat, Oh my love!
A few minutes on your shoulder (is bliss); but when I am lonely (without you), I writhe in longing (like a fish on the floor)

Is it fair that you loan from the moon, and make it stay in your eyes?
Is it fair that someone else (moon) enters the place where I live?
Is it fair that you give space for the teak (log) on your shoulder?
Is it fair for someone else (log) to lean on your shoulder?

We are like the water and the red soil mixed together (a bond that's unbreakable)............

Oh my love, come to me! Oh my love, come to me!
Oh my life, come to me! Oh my soul, come to me!
Oh my love, come to me! Oh my love, come to me!
Come, let us blossom into flowers together
I asked myself if I am the real me?
And my heart replied that I am you.....

You crafted the color patterns
Long live, those hands that crafted the patters
The bangles chime,"jal! jal!"
You crafted the color patterns
The colors are spilled smiles of the beautiful girl,
Who smells like a Jasmine flower emitting the fragrance of sandalwood.....

I am rolling in the deep.........

When I look into his eyes and this song plays, no matter where we are, who is around around us, what time it is, it feels right and we are exactly where we need to be, right next to each other knowing we are blessed by the highest power, encompassed in his love and protection. He will be my true love.....................

It's been a while....

I haven't blogged in over a year and half. I thought about it often, but never saw through it. Then again, I seem to blog more when my emotions are on an extreme down low, like it is now. I am twenty-five years old, yet never been in a relationship, never held a lover's hand, kissed him, never been consumed by passion, never knew what it is to love someone who loves you back just the same, if not more. But I yearn, I yearn so much! No matter what people say about me, no matter how much I think I don't need someone, deep inside my heart yearns for him so much. Yes, my parents are worried about me, so are my cousins, my sister, my friends, and so on and so forth. They advice, criticize, explain, hope, suggest so many things I should do to rectify my current status. But, how do I communicate what lies in my heart when I myself don't understand it? What should I answer when they ask me what's wrong? Why is it that no one, I mean no one I like reciprocates positively? Why am I stuck in this vicious cycle? Everyone is moving on with their lives, getting engaged, married, having babies. While, I am here still in school, financially dependent on my parents, and no one to share my loneliness with. I really do pity myself at times, because underneath all these layers of what people know or see me as, I am just so sad on the inside. It's so hard to be hopeful for things when no matter how much you want it or pray for it, or move towards it, it evades you repeatedly. Yes, god may have someone in store for me, perhaps things might change, but it's so hard to deal with it and my parents frustration every single day. I hate that I am the reason for their worries, I hate that my relationship with them is wearing thin and all I can think of is escaping somewhere far far away where no one knows my name, and I am allowed to be me, I am allowed to be free.

Reflecting and learning to be hopeful.......

As the year 2011 comes to an end, I am taking these last few hours to sort of self-reflect and rearrange a few things here and there, some of these being personal and others not so much. This year was definitely a blessing in many ways, I graduated, enjoyed a nice long vacation, danced, did things I didn't do before ;P,etc. All in all it was a year filled with good tidings and well.....blessings. God has been extremely kind. Thank you Father in Heaven....I couldn't ask for more. :) While I am looking forward to the coming year, I realize the changes that I need to embrace in my life, and the changes that life may put forth in my direction. I just hope that I will be able to keep my head around my shoulders, trust the Lord, and do things to their full measure.

So here's to another year, filled with even more blessings, joy and grace. Thank you for everything and everyone you have given me in my life lord. You love me so much, help me be worthy of that love for all the days of my life. Guide me, protect me, heal me ,and have mercy father. All this I ask in your name. Amen!

Melancholic......

I am currently dwelling a lot on what ifs and maybes' when I shouldn't be, especially when it involves the past. I want it to remain where it's supposed to be, it's too bittersweet to reminisce about.

Still, I can't help my restlessness. I suppose somethings will always leave you perturbed, regardless of when it happened and the fact that you have moved on and away from it. Although, I wish it didn't.

Birthday Wish List

1. Viktor and Rolf - Flowerbomb



2. Ray Ban - Wayfarers



3. Acid Wash Jeans



4.