My heart feels heavy.............

I am feeling more than just a bit down. I have been sulking on the inside since last evening, and am quite clueless as to why I feel this emotional depression all of a sudden. I had a good cry too; haven't done that in a long time. I am supposing things just added up and weighed in. For the sake of my sanity and future, I really need to get my perspectives in order too.

I hate growing up, my mind refuses to do. It is really hard for me to deal with situations lately, many of which have snowballed. I cannot for the better of me, use better reasoning and thoughts to monitor my actions. I keep falling deeper into the abyss of my self-made debacles.

I'm feeling nostalgic......

I am someone who is vastly disappointed when the things that I perceive to be are not what they seem. Once I have a certain illusion about something or hope it to be a certain way, and when it does not follow through, the feeling of poignancy is immense.


These channels of thought always follow the same route, and end at a similar point. Often in the opposite direction of what I will it to be. I dislike it, and very much so. I feel bereft of the insouciance I expect. I am cloaked in wistfulness and yearning.

Notes to Self

This is going to be an open post, as I'll be adding on constantly.

1. Life is the same yet different for all of us. Learn to live yours better and try to understand someone else's even better. This in turn will teach you more about life itself.

2. Be a loyal friend. Listen with your heart and mind open. It is one of the most selfless and rare gestures you can ever offer to someone.

3. Try to know yourself through every experience you face in life, learn from others and your mistakes.

4. Never undermine yourself in any manner, though occasions may rise up when you do just that, instead cultivate the ability to move and rise beyond that.

5. Try to do one good thing a day, no matter how small the gesture.

6. Always thank god for everything he has given you, even if you want more or are unhappy with what you have. Someone else may not even have 1/3 of the good things you are blessed with in life.

7. Do not be cruel to your parents. No matter what strive to be a good daughter or son. They may realize it one day, even if they don't today.

8. Do not consider anyone to be beneath you, treat others with respect. In the end, what goes around comes around.

9. Be proud of your heritage. It is privilege and a gift. Sow it, reap it, and spread it.

10. Always try to think positively, and share it with someone who is feeling down. Root for them, and pray for them.

11. Think before you act; most of the time.